Never Be Late To Bingo Again: Buy This Turbocharged STS Sleeper

"PhiLOL" (philol)
06/24/2015 at 12:55 • Filed to: The Daily Turismo, Daily Turismo, Blogs, Blog, Cadillac, Northstar, Turbocharged, Sleeper, NPOCP, Northstar V8, Cadillac STS

At the intersection of dentures and drag radials – where AARP meets ARP head studs – is this beige on beige front-drive Caddy with a 70mm secret. Joining that big turbo is a long list of supporting modifications that wouldn’t look out of place on a Pro Street Camaro listing. With the stock 4.6-liter transverse-mounted Northstar V8, it all adds up to a staggering 650 horsepower at 21psi. Who needs head gaskets anyway? Find this !!!error: Indecipherable SUB-paragraph formatting!!! for sale in Dayton, OH for $14,900 via craigslist.

This kind of build raises a lot of questions, like “does it go down the drag strip 10 mph slower than it should, with the left blinker on?” However, if you’ve ever wanted to experience lag and heat soak in close frequency, here’s your education. The intake, intercooler, and the 70mm no-name turbo itself are tucked behind whole square yards of plastic comprising the front bumper. Bet you’ll think differently about those meshed, wide-mouth aftermarket bumpers hanging off of turbo Civics.

Don’t look to the wood veneer steering wheel for help when your mitts get clammy after peak boost arrives. Nothing in this cabin is built for the kind of performance this Seville is capable of. Then again, you’ll be pushed so deeply into the plush seats at full throttle, the steering wheel may be out of reach anyway. This would be a problem against abundant torque steer, which is supposedly absent here thanks to a limited-slip differential. I’ll believe it when I see it.

Watching the QuickRev video below sounds a bit like a Southern Baptist revival: “Gawwddd.” “Jesus!” and “That’s a terrible burnout, Mark.” Yeah Mark, get it together. But if you (or Mark) want a better burnout from another crest-and-wreath comfort cruiser, and you don’t mind giving up a few hundred horses, take your 15 grand and get an !!!error: Indecipherable SUB-paragraph formatting!!! instead. Turning 11s in the quarter mile doesn’t require nearly this much fabrication, and you still don’t have to learn how to shift your own gears.

See another car ready for a record-setting Metamucil run? Post it below!

PhiLOL actually likes the tuna here, but abhors structural rust. Save the manuals.

Originally posted as !!!error: Indecipherable SUB-paragraph formatting!!! on !!!error: Indecipherable SUB-paragraph formatting!!! .

DISCUSSION (13)

Daily Drives a Dragon - One Last Lap > PhiLOL
06/24/2015 at 12:58

That’s quite the sleeper.

472CID > PhiLOL
06/24/2015 at 13:05

This looks exactly like my old daily driver. I can’t possibly imagine how it’s putting all that power to the front wheels.

LongbowMkII > PhiLOL
06/24/2015 at 13:05

I’m guessing this would be fun until something popped (lets be honest longevity was not a goal of this build).

DrJohannVegas > PhiLOL
06/24/2015 at 13:16

Where’s BenRolland?

WiscoProud > PhiLOL
06/24/2015 at 13:29

I would absolutely drag race this with a blinker on.

V8Demon - Prefers Autos for drag racing. Fite me! > PhiLOL
06/24/2015 at 13:29

Add says 10 sec car. Vid shows 11’s. Trap speed is about right for maybe a little faster, but not 10’s.... Interesting build though......

PhiLOL > 472CID
06/24/2015 at 13:43

A theory posited over on Daily Turismo : The “custom” LSD could be a rare unit that W-body bros cajoled Quaife into making for them.

M54B30 > PhiLOL
06/24/2015 at 14:01

I got married not far from where this is for sale.

However, northstars are already maintenance-sensitive and i think ill pass.

If i want to slide on leather (650 hp and no bolster on the seats) I’ll febreeze my leather couch and sneeze myself silly.

Your boy, BJR > DrJohannVegas
06/24/2015 at 14:08

Somewhere at the Jersey Shore.....

DrJohannVegas > Your boy, BJR
06/24/2015 at 14:13

With this Caddy, you’d get there so much faster!

Your boy, BJR > DrJohannVegas
06/24/2015 at 14:22

I'm already here.....I live here!

DrJohannVegas > Your boy, BJR
06/24/2015 at 15:29

But you could get there from there so much faster!

DailyTurismo > PhiLOL
06/24/2015 at 17:19

10/10 would drive 55mph in the fast lane with this thing.